Emotional Wreck

I think I now know what it feels like to have PMS. I'm an emotional wreck, argued all day, screaming etc. Lost my voice. Just irritated, and my wife isn't in a perfect state of mind either due to work, so that doesn't help. Overworked underpaid is always the case right? Decided to listen to some classical to calm me down and Canon in D had me in full blown tears. Yeah- I'm right there. Had to let you know.

WARNING GRAPHIC POST

I'm on day--13 and I've been doing very well up to today. But today I'm just irritated and angry that I can't enjoy food. Been arguing with my wife and she doesn't deserve the anger that I have inside. I warned her at the start that emotionally I could be up and down and man was I right. This is my first down. I could sit here and pour out my heart to you, like you wouldn't believe.

 Last night was easier and I was at a dinner with 200 people where I simply refused to eat and had my plate wrapped up which I'm serving my wife tonight. So irritated.

Few days ago, I passed a tapeworm. Which made me infuriated. My mother told me as a young child, jokingly, that I had a tapeworm because I could eat large quantities and not gain weight. Well, she was right, and I probably had that worm for 20 years or so. I won't give up until I have none left, and hope that was the source of my intestinal issues. My urine is still dark yellow, as if I'm cleaning and I've learned maybe 200 recipes for when I come off fast.  Dreamed about food last night. Burgers, I think I will start using the technique to really hone my visualization skills.

Energetically, I get exhausted quickly, just feeling drained. I can also, physically feel the energy being utilized from my tissues and the healing process. The body is so amazing. Incredible actually. That's all for now.

Beat the urge

SO, let me tell you the situation and how I beat my urge to quit the fast.
I have been invited to a major dinner event with my wife. (Just my luck huh.) And EVERYONE I need to be there for my new business will be there. SO I figured I didn't want to be rude and not eat. So I've been struggling back and forth because if I didn't break the fast today I won't be able to eat in time for the event anyways. So after some serious thinking and praying I decided not to break my fast. To me, this was the third  temptation by the devil analogous to Jesus. "All this could be yours! If you 'cast yourself down' " Ah naw, I'm good. Get behind me adversary. You see, the FALLING of Jesus from the spiritual pinnacle back to the state of SAGE would have been achieved by eating. Anyone who has fasted KNOWS, that eating is the devil. LOL. Ok not exactly, it's almost as if you are feeding a "food demon". The USA has done a great job of feeding these "Food Demons" with corporations that help make us sick after years of bad eating. Ironically, in other countries, that is not the case. With healthy food in places like Egypt (Falafel), or Japan etc etc! Let's be honest, we have an obesity problem, which is leading to heart disease, which is the leading cause of death in the USA. Ironically, fasting, eating right (non-gmo,less dairy etc) would help tremendously.

Now I know what you are thinking. "But BRO, didn't Jesus say it matters not what goes IN the mouth, but what goes OUT!" Yeah, but let's look at the difference of then and now. THEN, all food was organic. You could walk in a field and eat am ear of corn straight- no pesticides or gmo issues to worry about. So yea, it mattered not what went in- IT WAS ALL HEALTHY. Boy oh BOY,how has that changed!

I feel good about my decision. Besides, I could live with loosing the biz deal because I didn't eat, but couldn't live with myself if I loose the deal because I did! I will get the other dinner wrapped up to go, and take it home for my wife.